My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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