She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
