You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
