I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
