I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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