am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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