I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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