Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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