If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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