We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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