it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
