let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
