its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
