So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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