Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
