omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize