I think my fart just growled at me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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