As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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