if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
the liver wants what the liver wants
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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