Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize