I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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