if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
