I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
