He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
