And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
