So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
