Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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