she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
