CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
