fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
