my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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