Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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