i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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