Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
