This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
