still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
