so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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