Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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