I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
