Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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