Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
