This girl is more easily done than said...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
