Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
