'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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