mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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