I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Life is so much better after having sex.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
