guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
