Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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