she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this will be a night to untag.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
