I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
After last night, I could never be a politician.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
