He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
