I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
