I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
