I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
