Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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