I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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