everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i now understand why vodka
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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