Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize