i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
