You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
