When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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