I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
