that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
