i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
your like the ambassador to my penis.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
